HADES
"God of the Underworld"
(Hay’-deez)
Age: Really, really old.
Location: the Underworld
Quote: Everyone comes to see me eventually.
About Me: I see dead people . . . WAY TOO MANY of them. You think it’s easy running the Underworld? Talk about overpopulation. And dead people are no fun to hang out with. Believe me.
Who I’d Like to Meet: I’d like to meet Anubis, the Egyptian god. The Egyptians handled death with style!
Interests: Precious metals (I own all the riches under the earth), undertaking, military history (I have quite a collection of antique weapons, and the zombie soldiers who owned them).
Music: funeral dirges
Film: Journey to the Center of the Earth, Disney’s Hercules. (I enjoyed how they made me a villain, but please, they really think I have blue fire coming out of my head?)
TV: Six Feet Under
Books: The Idiot’s Guide to the Afterlife; A Brief History of the Dead
Heroes: Heroes are overrated. I did kind of like Orpheus though. That kid could play.
Status: Married to the beautiful Persephone. I hate it when she leaves every spring though. Mother-in-laws are so annoying.
Hometown: Erebos
Favorite Drink: Styx Water, sparkling or still with a twist of lemon
Body Type: Twenty feet tall, pale, dark hair, lean and mean as a panther.
Occupation: Lord of the Dead, King of the Underworld
Education: My education was having two snotty older brothers, Zeus and Poseidon. You learn a lot when you’re the youngest of three. Man, I hate them.
Location: the Underworld
Quote: Everyone comes to see me eventually.
About Me: I see dead people . . . WAY TOO MANY of them. You think it’s easy running the Underworld? Talk about overpopulation. And dead people are no fun to hang out with. Believe me.
Who I’d Like to Meet: I’d like to meet Anubis, the Egyptian god. The Egyptians handled death with style!
Interests: Precious metals (I own all the riches under the earth), undertaking, military history (I have quite a collection of antique weapons, and the zombie soldiers who owned them).
Music: funeral dirges
Film: Journey to the Center of the Earth, Disney’s Hercules. (I enjoyed how they made me a villain, but please, they really think I have blue fire coming out of my head?)
TV: Six Feet Under
Books: The Idiot’s Guide to the Afterlife; A Brief History of the Dead
Heroes: Heroes are overrated. I did kind of like Orpheus though. That kid could play.
Status: Married to the beautiful Persephone. I hate it when she leaves every spring though. Mother-in-laws are so annoying.
Hometown: Erebos
Favorite Drink: Styx Water, sparkling or still with a twist of lemon
Body Type: Twenty feet tall, pale, dark hair, lean and mean as a panther.
Occupation: Lord of the Dead, King of the Underworld
Education: My education was having two snotty older brothers, Zeus and Poseidon. You learn a lot when you’re the youngest of three. Man, I hate them.
God of the Underworld (Hay’-deez)
Distinguishing Features: Evil smile, helm of darkness (which makes him invisible, so you can’t see the evil smile), black robes sewn from the souls of the damned. He sits on a throne of bones. Now: Hades rarely leaves his obsidian palace in the Underworld, probably because of traffic congestion on the Fields of Asphodel freeway. He oversees a booming population among the dead and has all sorts of employment trouble with his ghouls and specters. This keeps him in a foul mood most of the time. Then: Hades is best known for the romantic way he won his wife, Persephone. He kidnapped her. Really, though, how would you like to marry someone who lives in a dark cave filled with zombies all year round? Symbol: the helm of darkness Roman Counterpart: Pluto |