DIONYSUS
"God of Wine"
(Dī-oh-nī’-sus)
Age: 2854
Location: Camp Half-Blood, Long Island, New York
Quote: Put a Cork in It.
About Me: Absolutely misery! I am forced to run this cursed summer camp for demigods when all I want to do is have parties. I tell you, it’s simply unfair. My father’s punishments are much too harsh.
Who I’d Like to Meet: A good sommelier, Carlo Rossi, Jack Daniels.
Interests: Wine, wine, and... wine.
Music: Barry Manilow, Burt Bacharach
Film: A Good Year, Animal House
TV: Jacques Pepin Celebrates (lovely cooking show, and all the recipes are served with wine!)
Books: An Illustrated History of Wine (even though my picture is not included)
Heroes: the red grape; the green grape; the pinot noir grape
Status: married to Ariadne (with occasional relationships on the side, but really, those are nothing)
Hometown: Mount Nysa, where the satyrs raised me as a boy. Ah, those were good times.
Favorite Drink: uh... DUH!
Body Type: perhaps I’ve gotten a bit soft around the middle, but it’s only because I have to eat more to compensate for the fact that my father won’t let me drink while I run this accursed camp!
Occupation: God of Wine (and director of Camp Half-Blood, grr!)
Education: I taught myself everything I know. That’s why I’m so smart.
Location: Camp Half-Blood, Long Island, New York
Quote: Put a Cork in It.
About Me: Absolutely misery! I am forced to run this cursed summer camp for demigods when all I want to do is have parties. I tell you, it’s simply unfair. My father’s punishments are much too harsh.
Who I’d Like to Meet: A good sommelier, Carlo Rossi, Jack Daniels.
Interests: Wine, wine, and... wine.
Music: Barry Manilow, Burt Bacharach
Film: A Good Year, Animal House
TV: Jacques Pepin Celebrates (lovely cooking show, and all the recipes are served with wine!)
Books: An Illustrated History of Wine (even though my picture is not included)
Heroes: the red grape; the green grape; the pinot noir grape
Status: married to Ariadne (with occasional relationships on the side, but really, those are nothing)
Hometown: Mount Nysa, where the satyrs raised me as a boy. Ah, those were good times.
Favorite Drink: uh... DUH!
Body Type: perhaps I’ve gotten a bit soft around the middle, but it’s only because I have to eat more to compensate for the fact that my father won’t let me drink while I run this accursed camp!
Occupation: God of Wine (and director of Camp Half-Blood, grr!)
Education: I taught myself everything I know. That’s why I’m so smart.
Distinguishing Features: Leopard-skin shirt, walking shorts, purple socks and sandals, the general pasty demeanor of someone who has been up partying much too late.
Now: Dionysus has been sentenced to one hundred years of “rehab” as director of Camp Half-Blood. The only thing the god of wine can drink these days is Diet Coke, which doesn’t make him happy. He can usually be found playing pinochle with a group of terrified satyrs on the front porch of the Big House. Then: Dionysus invented wine, which so impressed his father Zeus that he promoted Dionysus to god. The guy who invented prune juice, by contrast, got sentenced to the Fields of Punishment. Dionysus mostly spent his time partying it up in Ancient Greece, but once a crew of sailors tried to kill him, thinking the god was too incapacitated to fight back. Dionysus turned them into dolphins and sent them over the side. The moral of this story: Do not mess with a god, even a drunk one. Symbol: the leopard, the grape vine Roman Counterpart: Bacchus |